


Between Sky and Sea

by catandfox



Category: Doctrine of Labyrinths - Sarah Monette
Genre: Corambis Sequel, M/M, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Post-Canon, To Be Continued, Unofficial Sequel, mild consensual groping
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-04-21
Updated: 2021-02-03
Packaged: 2021-03-01 21:54:29
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 11,359
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23774185
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/catandfox/pseuds/catandfox
Summary: "Fuck me sideways 'til I cry," Mildmay said tiredly, and I was inclined to agree with his assessment. I wondered why it had occurred to neither of us, in the whole of our journey to Grimglass, that a lighthouse would have quite so many stairs.Felix and Mildmay arrive at Grimglass but life in exile will take some getting used to - for both of them.
Relationships: Felix Harrowgate/Murtagh | Ferrand Carey, Kay Brightmore & Mildmay Foxe, Mildmay Foxe & Felix Harrowgate
Comments: 14
Kudos: 21





	1. Grimglass

**Author's Note:**

> This is a sequel to Corambis that begins when Felix and Mildmay arrive at Grimglass. I decided to write it after a comment on one of the other fics made me realize why I found the end of Corambis unsatisfying - namely that we don't get closure. We don't know that Felix and Mildmay are going to be okay when they get to Grimglass, and the more I looked the more I realized we don't know if Mildmay's going to be okay at all. Felix is on the way to a new job and a mountain of books and "hocus stuff"; Mildmay's on the way to... what exactly?
> 
> I don't know how many chapters this will be as I'm writing as I go (and currently under lockdown). Additional tags to be added as needed.

**Felix**

"Fuck me sideways 'til I cry," Mildmay said tiredly, and I was inclined to agree with his assessment. I wondered why it had occurred to neither of us, in the whole of our journey to Grimglass, that a lighthouse would have quite so many stairs.

"We won't actually be living in it," I pointed out. "There's a cottage. One flight of stairs at most."

His face remained impassive, but his eyes were amused. "Gonna look after that thing yourself, are you?"

He had a point. Virtuer Ashmead had been kind enough to give us a volume on the workings Corambin lighthouses, both magical and mundane, and Mildmay and I had read it twice on the way, using it to improve both his reading and our understanding of the task ahead. At least, his understanding had improved. Mine had remained at approximately the level of village idiot, given there was little on how the lighthouse at Grimglass actually _worked_.

It occurred to me belatedly, looking up at the grey stone tower with its lumpen and uneven blocks, that the town was named for the lighthouse and not the other way around. Glass could only refer to the one that reflected light out over the sea, which was too tumultuous to have earned the name itself. Looking out over the distant toss and swell of the waves I had a sudden sense of being trapped in the centre of a maelstrom, sinking fast and with no escape. We'd nearly died in a storm at sea once, and although Mildmay doubtless had a clearer memory of the event than I did, since I'd been mad at the time, I suppressed a shudder.

"Felix?" he asked, aware as always of the shift in my mood. 

I shook myself out of my rapidly darkening thoughts. "Let's look at our accommodation."

The fiacre driver had left our bags at the front door of a cottage that was little better than the lighthouse in terms of bleakness. It was squat and painted white, and the two buildings looked like they'd sprung out of the cliff like an odd pair of mushrooms. Someone had once tried to train a rosebush over the front door, which clung to the wall spindly and half dead. The windows were small and the whole thing gave off an air that it could barely be bothered to remain standing. At least there was smoke coming from the chimney, so it would be already warm.

The door opened into a large kitchen, stone floored and dominated by a solid wooden table. Mildmay investigated the equally solid counter that across the back of the room, the fireplace, and the threadbare but blanket-covered sofa, leaning on his cane in a way that suggested his bad leg was troubling him more than he would ever admit to.

There was a cloth-covered basket on the table that contained fresh provisions and a letter. I recognised Julian's sprawling hand and turn of phrase, although it was signed from Kay Brightmore who was warden of Grimglass and a friend of Mildmay's in particular. He was sorry he couldn't be here to greet us, but warden's business had intervened. The cottage had been cleaned and provisioned for our arrival and everyone hoped we would find it comfortable.

I looked around the simple interior and sighed. It was a far cry from my rooms in the Mirador and what I'd consider comfortable. Then I saw Mildmay settled on the sofa, his eyes tracing the red and blue weave of the patterned coverlet. He had never been comfortable in the Mirador, and I had spent two years pretending not to notice, but I was certain he could be comfortable here and that was enough. It had to be enough.

He saw me looking and his eyebrows went up in query.

"Kay is indisposed but sent us a welcome gift." I indicated the basket. "Shall we eat?"

He already knew, of course, where to find plates and a knife to slice the bread. We helped ourselves to lavishly buttered slices, with cheese and cold meat. Mildmay put a kettle over the fire and made tea, looking more at home than I recalled seeing him in a long time. Possibly in all the years I'd known him.

We investigated the rest of the cottage together. There was a study off the kitchen, crammed with a desk and groaning bookshelves. Behind the kitchen was a narrow corridor with a storeroom on one side and the water closet on the other. The staircase went up to the two bedrooms, where neither fireplace was lit, and the air was cold and damp. It made me worry about the state of the books.

Mildmay went back down the stairs ahead of me, his steps slow and careful. As we reached the halfway point his right leg buckled and his cane clattered down the rest of the flight. I grabbed for him, as if I could keep him from falling rather than go down the stairs as he did, but he must have been expecting it as he went backwards instead and sat heavily on the staircase.

"Sacred bleeding fuck," he muttered.

The cold and damp wouldn't be kind to his maimed leg, either. 

I helped him back to the sofa and settled him with a blanket and more tea. It was a mark of how much pain he was in that he let me without argument.

"Let me see," I said.

"It ain't that bad."

"Isn't," I corrected, more to see if he'd rise to it than anything else. He didn't. "It's bad enough to have you fall down the stairs. Let me see."

He sighed and wriggled out of his trousers. The thigh of his right leg was a mass of knotted scars, legacy of a failed and then imperfectly removed death curse, and when I touched him the muscle was as hard as iron. I began to work my fingers into it and he hissed between his teeth. When I looked up his eyes were closed and his face slightly turned away, hiding the scar that savagely marked the left side. The firelight glinted highlights from his red hair and for a moment I could imagine his face as it had been, whole and beautiful. He was still beautiful, for all that he felt being scarred and crippled lessened him. Once it would have taken all of my self-control not to lean forward and kiss him, and I looked away before he could catch me watching. 

The tension drained out of him as the muscles in his leg eased, and I moved away to let him put his trousers back on.

"Thanks."

"I wish you'd let me know when it gets bad," I said. "Or before, for preference."

He gave me a one-shouldered shrug. "Nothing you can do about it." 

"Perhaps." I was already wondering if there was a doctor in Grimglass who knew how to keep such injuries from seizing in the lamentable climate, and how I would go about finding one. An idea came to me. "We could move the study upstairs, if you'd prefer to sleep down here?"

His surprise was all in his eyes, and it struck me that even now he didn't expect kindness from me - from anyone, but I'd given him as little reason as anyone else to expect it. He considered it, then shook his head.

"Thanks, but it ain't like I can avoid stairs forever." He braced himself on his cane and stood, and it was only because I knew him so well I saw the effort it took. "Speaking of, it's late."

We took the stairs slowly, or at least Mildmay did after sending me up first. "No point me falling on top of you if my leg goes again." I waited on the landing, unwilling to give the impression I'd laid claim to a room rather than wait for him. I'd promised myself that, this time, I'd do better at thinking of Mildmay first.

There was little to choose between them. Both were sparsely furnished with a bed, wooden chair, and closet, both had a window at the front and at the back. "Which do you want?" 

"Powers, Felix. I don't care." He waited patiently as I inspected first one and then the other, and until I decided that he could have the one in which, unaccountably, the sea sounded loudest. He nodded and limped inside, already unbuttoning his shirt.

I went into my own room, the mirror of Mildmay's. It was too unfamiliar and I could still hear the sea, and the thought of sleeping there chilled me for no reason I could explain. I went back across the hallway.

"Can I sleep in with you?" The words were out of my mouth before I'd thought them through. He turned that patient green gaze on me and I felt myself flush. "It's cold in here, it will keep us both warm." It wouldn't be the first time we'd shared a bed, often being forced to it while travelling for the sake of our limited funds. However it might be the last, now that we had a place to call home and rooms of our own, and I could admit to myself that tonight I needed the comfort of knowing I wasn't alone. I could have used magic to light either of the freshly-laid fireplaces but knew that, being annemer and suspicious of magic in general, he wouldn't suggest it. 

He nodded and I retrieved my nightshirt and an extra blanket. We curled up together and I felt his breathing settle in to the soft rhythm of sleep, although I knew he'd wake in a heartbeat at the first sign of trouble. I lay staring into the darkness and trying not to hear the sea.

It was some time before I realised why I couldn't rest. I'd thought we'd found a home before, in Esmer, until I'd ruined it by becoming notorious. More notorious than I was already, and between the Automaton of Corybant and being what the Corambins termed a violet-boy that was a fair amount.

I'd have to do better this time at being respectable.

**Mildmay**

One day I'd be able to look at a place and not see the best way in and back out again without using the door, but the first time looking at that fucking lighthouse wasn't it. There were two or three ways up, using the stones and the window ledges, and once you were over that little balcony where the light was there'd be maybe one lock between you and all those stairs back down.

My leg ached just thinking about that, and I leaned on Jashuki hard. 'Cause I couldn't go up that way for the same reason I couldn't take the stairs, and wasn't that just the bitchkitty?

What's the matter, Milly-Fox? Thought you were done with all that anyway.

I was. Done for good and proper this time, and no one to wind me up like some clockwork bear and point me at a target. No one in Grimglass knew about Mildmay the Fox except Kay and that's because I'd told him. I'd just be the hocus's crip little brother, and I couldn't tell how I felt about that.

Still couldn't tell when I woke up the next day. Felix was tangled up in the blankets like he was fighting with them so I left him to it. Put my trousers on and went downstairs, and I was about halfway when I realized there was someone in the kitchen.

It was a little blonde girl, maybe third septad. She was busy tidying away the dishes and squeaked when she saw me. "Virtuer Harrowgate?"

"That's Felix," I told her. "I'm Mildmay. His brother." I wanted that part clear from the start, 'cause wherever we went people kept assuming he was fucking me, or I was fucking him. I don't know what it was, except that Felix was molly and flirted with everything that moved including me. And people would be right if Felix had his way, given as he didn't much care about the incest part. It wasn't like we'd grown up together. But we were stuck in Grimglass where I figured they would care, and so did I and I wasn't molly besides, and we'd run out of places to be exiled to short of living in the sea.

Her eyes were as big as bell-wheels, and it took me a moment to realize where I knew that look from. It was the same one they'd kept giving Felix back in Esmer after he killed the Automaton of Corybant. She kept looking at the scar on my face, and powers and saints I know what I look like, but I didn't want to deal with it before breakfast. I went off to the water closet to freshen up.

Felix was up by the time I was done, in the kitchen and talking to the girl like she didn't look halfway to terrified.

"Mildmay," he said. "This is Florence. Kay has kindly engaged her to see we don't starve to death in our own squalor." But he said it nicely, and gave her one of his dazzler smiles so she knew he meant it that way. "Don't mind Mildmay. I know he looks fearsome - especially with that scowl - but he doesn't bite."

"I ain't scowling," I muttered, and could see Florence didn't understand which didn't help any so I went outside.

Of course outside there wasn't nothing but the lighthouse and the cliffs. I'd forgotten breakfast I was in such a hurry to get out from under Florence gawking at me and Felix remembering how to be an asshole, but I didn't want to go back in. I started for the town, figuring I should learn my way around at least.

It was a nice walk, mostly downhill what with us living up on the cliff, and not too cold. The town just sort of started out of nowhere, houses and little shops springing out of the hill like someone had cut a chunk out of somewhere else and left it there. There were flower boxes everywhere, and the streets were cobbled which wasn't no fun to walk on, so when I came to a square with a fountain in the middle I sat down to just watch people living their lives. Folks in Corambis seemed to mostly be blond or red-haired, and I was starting to get used to redheads being normal and not, you know, fucking Troian with it. Back in Mélusine I'd only known of two other redheads, other than my mother who was dead, one of those an actress and the other was Felix - and I'd assumed both of those used henna what with not having to care about looking like a freakshow. And I'd been pretending I wasn't a redhead and getting my hair dyed black since my fourth indiction, since you don't want people staring at your hair while you're trying to pick their pocket. But anyway, I was starting to think that maybe my red hair wasn't such a bad thing.

It was colder sitting down, so it wasn't long before my leg was telling me I'd better move if I still wanted to be able to. All of the little shops around the square were opening, and I saw a bookshop which I made a note of for Felix, and a place that looked to sell beat up old furniture. There was a little bakery too, and I headed over figuring I could get a pastry or something before my stomach ate its way through my spine.

And I was standing there still looking at all the iced and filled things when I realized I didn't have any money, seeing as how I hadn't planned on being chased out before breakfast. Back in Mélusine it wouldn't have been a problem. I'd have lifted some flat's purse and not thought twice. But just because I could didn't mean I should. I didn't want things to be that way in Grimglass, and on top of that between my fucking scar and being a crip I couldn't have been more obvious if I'd been on fire.

The baker was giving me the hairy eyeball, so I raised my hands. "Sorry, just realized I left my purse up at the cottage."

"Cottage? Are you the new virtuer?" she asked with a frown, staring at my hands with their conspicuous lack of hocus tattoos and rings.

"His brother," I said. And powers but I was already tired of explaining it. "Mildmay Foxe."

"Mr. Foxe! I'm sure we can open a tab for the new virtuer and his brother. It's no trouble."

My face went hot like I really was on fire. I muttered an apology and got out as fast as my leg would let me. I could just imagine what Felix would say if I opened a tab in his name, I'd never hear the end of it. And then I wondered what I was supposed to be doing for money anyway, since he was the only one with a job and it wasn't like I could get one in a hurry.

Of course, outside I realized no purse meant I was walking back up that damn hill, and that was nearly enough to have me howling in the road. Great start, Milly-Fox. Maybe next time you'll forget your trousers too.

It was a long walk back, but I took it slow and made it without too much trouble. There was no sign of Florence in the kitchen, and I could hear Felix in the study moving books around and muttering. There were a couple of books on the table that looked like he'd left them out for me - a history of the lighthouse and some local stories - so I fixed myself something to eat and leafed through the history. It fell open near the middle, like it had been looked at a lot.

And right there, spread over two pages, was another fucking labyrinth.


	2. Reynard Vulpine

**Felix**

I had never been sure, and Virtuers Ashmead and Hutchence had been unable to tell me, what it was about the lighthouse at Grimglass that had required a Virtuer to build it. 

"That's why we need you to look at Virtuer Grice's papers," Hutch had told me. "We know what it does, we just don't know why. Or how. Or why he built it that way to start with. There are a number of other lighthouses, but they all work differently to Grimglass - more like the trains. You'll make quite a name for yourself if you figure it out." He laughed as I grimaced. 

"I'm not sure any of us can withstand that."

"Then become famous for your work instead of infamous," he'd suggested with a wink. "You've plenty of time."

The first thing to do was investigate the lighthouse itself, and I took the opportunity once it became obvious Mildmay had fled into Grimglass town. I wondered what about him had startled poor Florence, but since she was at least as alarmed by me it was difficult to coax anything approaching a full sentence from her.

My determination to view the lighthouse in Mildmay's absence was in part because I knew that he would insist on accompanying me and I wanted to spare him the stairs, but also because I wanted my first impressions to be unclouded by his suspicions of what he called "hocus stuff". And, I admitted to myself only reluctantly, I wanted this moment all to myself. The lighthouse was my responsibility, and I was finished with making Mildmay shoulder my burdens as well as his own considerable pile. Despite what he'd said the evening before, I did plan to look after it myself.

The lighthouse wasn't any less foreboding at noon than on our arrival. The atmosphere inside was strangely patient, as if it were waiting for something. I had a sudden flash of another tower - the one in Hermione that had housed a fantôme - but this was nothing like that. There was nothing lurking here to possess the unwary. And it was nothing like a Titan Clock either, I reminded myself. It was just a lighthouse.

I started up the stairs. The tiny windows barely let in any light, and I called witchlights which were immediately sucked away into the tiny lanterns that lined the staircase.

"Well that was unexpected," I said, and was surprised to hear that my voice didn't carry like it should but was absorbed as if the walls were lined in velvet.

Maybe not _just_ a lighthouse, then.

The room at the top contained a lantern which looked similar to the ones flanking the stairs, and I knew from what little Virtuer Ashmead had been able to tell me that the light it cast was from witchlight rather than the more traditional flame. Unlike annemer lighthouses it lit itself every dusk and extinguished itself at dawn with no intervention. As lighthouse keeper it was my job to ensure that it kept doing so. There was an arrangement of mirrors that I was careful not to touch, protected from the elements by a glass wall.

A small balcony ran around the outside of the tower, which I looked at only long enough to realize that it was a long way down, and that I could see a lot more of the ocean than I could from the ground, dark and roiling like a monster in its death throes. I managed not to run back down the stairs, but only by a matter of will. Instead I made myself check each of the rooms in turn, but they contained nothing more remarkable than some boxes and cobwebs. I locked up and went back to the cottage. Perhaps, when I found them, Virtuer Grice's papers would shed more light on the strangeness of my not-just-a-lighthouse.

**Mildmay**

Grimglass was the lighthouse and the town and the estate all at once, and then there were other little towns and things dotted about so really it was pretty fucking big. It was the same as how the Lower City and the Mirador were both, when you got down to it, part of Mélusine even though they were as different as the Sim and the ocean. I was glad that the only bit Felix had to look after was the lighthouse. Grimglass town itself was nice, and that was all I could find to say about it when Felix asked.

"That's it? Just 'nice'?"

I shrugged. "Ain't nothing special. Ain't nothing bad either." I'd gone around most of it in that first half decad, and even the bad parts weren't that bad. Nothing like the Lower City, which was what I was mostly worried about. Felix could get lost in a bucket, and I didn't want him wandering into any parts of town where being molly and a hocus might get him hurt. That was less of a worry since everyone knew he'd killed the Automaton of Corybant, except I didn't think he'd got it in his head yet that defending himself with magic wasn't heresy in Corambis, and I wasn't sure he would besides.

"Anywhere of note?" he asked. "Or were you too blinded by the niceness to notice?"

"Little bakery," I said. I'd gone back the next day and made sure to buy something, and the baker had apologized even though she didn't have nothing to apologize for. "Bookshop." Then, because I was sick of him needling me, "Brothel."

"Brothel?" His eyebrows went up.

"Seems nice enough." It had been clean and tidy outside, and the gal in the window didn't look underfed or like anyone was hitting her. "Probably not a place you want to go if you don't want the whole town knowing your business though."

"How typical of you to notice," he said, then shook himself like he'd realized he was being snide. "Let's go and see for ourselves." He went bright red. "The town, not the brothel."

"I got that," I replied. "But what about the books?"

"They aren't going anywhere." Which was true unless the whole damn cottage went off the cliff, but I wasn't dumb enough to say that out loud. "Let's get our coats, it looks like rain."

"It always looks like rain." Grimglass seemed like it was stuck at the edge of a gray sea and a gray sky, and it reminded me of the _Morskaiakrov_ and how Fiodor had said it was hard to keep sky and sea from their deepest desires. Of course that was right before sky and sea got together to crush the boat like it was made of twigs and I still didn't know how me and Felix didn't both drown right there.

I took Felix around all the bits of town I thought he'd want to know about, and most of them weren't too far from the square so I thought maybe even he could manage not to get lost. Still wouldn't have put money on it though. The last few days I'd noticed more people, mostly women, staring like Florence had, and it was downright nasty to tell the truth. I mean, I was used to people staring at us since we didn't exactly blend in even with not being the only redheads for once. But before mostly they'd stared at Felix and he'd spent his whole life being stared at, what with being taller than most people, and skew eyed, on top of being a hocus with all those gaudy tattoos wrapped around his arms. He could shake it off like he hadn't even noticed.

I hate being stared at. For a cat burglar or murderer-for-hire, it most likely means a one-way trip to the sanguette or the cade-skiffs fishing your body out of the Sim. And I'd been both so it wasn't no nice feeling.

We finished up in the bookshop where even the little guy behind the counter - another redhead - gave me the hairy eyeball, and Kethe I was tired of it so I went in among the shelves like I had the faintest idea what I was looking for and left him to fawn over the new virtuer instead.

The different sections were all labeled, and I thought about how not so long ago I'd barely seen so many books all in one place. I could hear Felix asking for newspapers, all charm, and kept going. I ended up at the history books, and there was a new copy of the one Felix had given me, so I looked inside along of that copy being older than Melkior when he went after Elias Corban. Mostly I wanted to see if the picture of the labyrinth was any better, but this one didn't have the drawing at all. It did have a map that folded out across four whole pages.

Felix came around the shelves and saw I was holding it. "Don't we have that one?"

"This one's newer. Better map," I said, since I really didn't want to explain about the labyrinth right there in the bookshop.

"So get it," he suggested, like money wasn't no big deal. Maybe it hadn't been in the Mirador, but we were going to have to be more careful since we'd have to start paying Florence sometime. But that wasn't something to talk about in the bookshop neither. "I found the stories," he said, and I knew he meant stories and not those made up things, novels, they read in Esmer.

So I was there looking at this book of Caloxan stories, and wondering if I should get it to read to Kay or whether that would be an asshole thing to do since it would remind him of Caloxa losing the war, and then him losing his prince and his title and his sight all at once, and figuring that's not the sort of thing you forget in a hurry anyway, when I heard Felix give this startled little "Oh!" from around the corner.

He looked up as I went over, and closed the book he was reading with a snap, looking guilty as a kid with their fingers in the jam. Before he got it behind his back I saw it was one of those novels, the ones about Mélusine written by people who'd probably never even been out of Esmer a day in their lives let alone in sight of the Mirador. He'd hated those, before we got ourselves exiled to Grimglass, but I reckoned they were as close as he'd get to home and his kind of hocus so I wasn't going to tease him about reading them.

"Two books?" he asked, looking at my hands, although there wasn't anything nasty in the way he said it. I realized I was still holding the history and the stories.

"Yeah. Sorry." I looked at them, wondering which to put back, and he moved closer.

"I wasn't complaining," he said quietly. "It's just, I think that's the first time I've ever seen you choose a book for yourself." And he smiled, a proper one like he was proud of me, and for a moment I felt all warm inside like a stupid kid, so much I forgot about the novel.

~

When we got back to the cottage I sat with my books a time. Felix went straight into his study so I spread out the new book with the map on the table and took a good look at what was around. I found the lighthouse, a tower with a star on the top at the edge of a cliff. There were some little islands way off out to sea, but they didn't have names or nothing on them so I guessed they weren't much of anything. There was Grimglass town, and the manor where Kay and Vanessa lived, and Whallen a bit further off. Some other towns were dotted around but mostly they didn't look like much, not even bigger than Grimglass. The folks back at the Mirador would have probably laughed themselves sick at the thought of me and Felix stuck out here in the middle of nowhere with a whole lot of nothing but sky and sea to look at. 

There wasn't anything about a labyrinth on the map, or anything that looked like it might have been one. I wondered if maybe the labyrinth would be on one of those islands, which would have suited me fine since nothing would get Felix back on a boat without a fight. I flicked through the book, but there weren't any other drawings which meant I was stuck with reading the whole thing to find out what I wanted.

I couldn't tell how much older the other copy was, only that the paper was kind of yellow and the writing, what Felix called the print, was in a different style and harder to read. It had more drawings, that looked like pencil sketches, but no map and the drawing of the labyrinth didn't seem to have anything to do with where in the book it was since the pages on either side seemed to be mostly concerned about chickens. So I was going to have to read that whole book too, to find out if it was different, which sounded like a complete fucking waste of time.

What I needed was a map. Felix might have one, but I really didn't want to tell him what it was for. There'd been a whole stack of them back in the bookshop, but I wasn't in a hurry to go back out to Grimglass especially as it had just started raining. Which meant I was stuck with the books I had. I started with the new one, since it looked easier to read, but it was still going to take a long time. At least it wasn't like the labyrinth was going anywhere.

**Felix**

When we returned to the cottage, Mildmay made us tea and settled down to read. I looked at his books, stacked neatly on the edge of the table - he now had five to his name, including the one on Corambin religion Miss Leverick had given him prior to our leaving for Grimglass, and that was five more than I'd imagined on first getting to know him. I wondered if I should get him a bookcase.

He didn't seem to want to read to me, which was our usual habit, so I retreated into the study and closed the door before pulling the novel from my pocket. If Mildmay had noticed I'd purchased one of those execrable novels from Esmer he hadn't shown it, a fact for which I was grateful. It would be bad enough that he thought I'd stooped to reading them at all, but I dreaded having to tell him the contents of this one in particular.

While we were visiting the town I'd noticed the people of Grimglass staring, which wasn't unusual in itself. What was unusual was the fact they were staring as much at Mildmay as at me. Used to him being, for want of a better term, my shadow and barely remarked, for a while I'd found it amusing. Then amusement had shaded into alarm as I realized the stares were like those I'd received after admitting what Edwin Beckett had done to me to restart the Clock of Eclipses.

I was certain no one had attempted to gang rape Mildmay to restart a Titan Clock, not least because no one was dead. Which left the question of what he could possibly have done in less than a week to make the people of Grimglass so skittish.

The bookseller had answered my question without being asked. As Mildmay disappeared among the shelves like a black cloud he remarked, "Miss Bennet is right, he does bear a striking resemblance to Reynard Vulpine", and when pressed further directed me to the novels. 

Reynard Vulpine, I discovered, was the protagonist of a series of novels set in Mélusine, which were written by an author with the improbable pseudonym Estella Velvet. He was something of an anti-hero, a dashing and utterly charming cat burglar and sometime assassin with red hair and a wicked scar.

Mildmay made no effort to be either dashing or charming, but the rest was accurate.

After receiving the scar on his face, that made him too noticeable for pickpocketing, his Keeper,Madame Kolkhis had trained him as an assassin. He was the one who had killed Cerberus Cresset - both inside the Mirador itself and in spite the protections laid against anyone who tried. No doubt there were other stories too, ones I hadn't heard and he'd never share. I'd tried to reconcile what I'd heard with what I knew of my brother, the gentleness that he seldom let anyone see, and had struggled for years.

The people of Grimglass didn't know him. They would only judge by what these ridiculous books made him appear to be, the very thing he was determined not to be any more.

He would be mortified, and I had no idea how I was going to tell him. Or even if I should.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the delay in posting, life in lockdown is getting increasingly weird.
> 
> Yes, I know Mildmay dyed his hair when he knew Estella Velvet. I'll get to that!


	3. Whallen

**Mildmay**

Something had put a bug up Felix's ass and he spent all his time locked in his study barely talking to me. I left him to it, thinking as it was probably hocus stuff and he'd tell me when he was good and ready. It wasn't like I didn't have problems of my own to deal with. Namely the stairs in that fucking lighthouse, and a book telling me there was a labyrinth somewhere about that no one had mentioned, and that fact that every time I went into Grimglass more and more people were giving me the hairy eyeball with mustard.

There wasn't anything I could do about the labyrinth, not without reading the book first which wasn't going to happen in a hurry along of the weird crabby writing that gave me a headache just thinking about it. And probably I should have told Felix, but I was pretty sure he was as sick of labyrinths as I was and I didn't want to worry him unless there was actually something to worry about. And I couldn't do nothing about the people in Grimglass staring at me. Which left the lighthouse.

We hadn't really talked much about it but I knew I'd be the one looking after the non-hocus parts of the lamp, what with Felix just not being cut out for that sort of thing at all. Which meant I had to be able to get to the top of it. It didn't look any better after a decad than it had the first time. Felix kept the key on a hook in the study, and I wasn't about to ask him for it when I didn't know myself what I even planned to do when I got there, so I picked the lock instead. It wasn't no good lock, and I thought maybe I should speak to Felix about that, but it still took me longer than it should. Losing your touch, Milly-Fox? I could almost hear Kolkhis laughing at me.

Inside it was all gloom, with the stairs curving up in a spiral, and that got me to thinking about all those twisty corridors in the labyrinth under Summerdown and how the light couldn't follow you round them unless you took it with you. I didn't have a lantern with me, or anything to light the ones that went up the stairs, but that was what all the little windows were for and it wasn't like I'd never found my way in the dark before.

The staircase went up around a room in the middle of the lighthouse, and I guessed there were probably a bunch of them stacked one on top of the other all the way up. It was empty except for some crates, and the window went clear through three feet of wall and didn't let much light in. I thought then I should probably be grateful there was a cottage for the lighthouse keeper, because going up and down all those stairs every day would be worse than the Mirador. 

I started up, and I don't know if it was the spiral or the damp, but I didn't even make it as far as the next little room before my leg started to complain and then some, even with leaning on Jashuki as hard as I could. I was shaking and sweating like I had the Winter Fever, so I took a deep breath and headed back down nice and slow. Somewhere along the way the hornets started up again, like they hadn't in a long time, and I had to sit down on the bottom steps when I got there because it was that or throw up.

Rinaldo, who'd given me Jashuki, had told me to remember about being lame, by which he meant not to do anything stupid like climb a fucking lighthouse. And it's not like I could forget, what with the scars and the muscle cramps and Felix finding me a chair every time we stopped moving. But, powers and saints, once I could've gone up the outside of the thing like a cat. There was some stuff about the Lower City I didn't miss - the murder-for-hire and Kolkhis for starters - but I missed that. 

I sat there on the steps for so long I might've turned to stone like Jinnifer when she visits the Winter King and they make her wait on the mountain, except there was a rumble of thunder and I didn't want to still be there when the storm started. But if I had turned to stone, right then I wouldn't have minded at all.

**Felix**

A few days after our visit to Grimglass, Mildmay announced he was taking a trip to Whallen, the nearest town that was actually of a size to be worthy of the name. "You wanna come?" 

I waved off that idea. "I have work to do. Go, enjoy yourself. There's money in the jar, I think? Don't forget to take the letter." He had a letter of introduction to the President of the Whallen chapter of the Society for the Advancement of Universal Education, from Miss Leverick at the chapter in Esmer. They offered lectures and classes on all manner of subjects and I hoped, now he was more confident in what he called "book-learning", that Mildmay would find something there to both improve his education and keep him out of trouble.

He turned away, but I saw the back of his neck go red and realized he was blushing. 

"What? I thought we agreed learning isn't anything to be embarrassed about." 

"Ain't that," he mumbled, his Lower City accent all but swallowing the words, and shot out the door so quickly he almost forgot his coat. I, having no idea what was wrong with him, shrugged and went over to the lighthouse.

One of my duties was making sure the lamp was adequately charged, although it hadn't needed anything from me so far and I couldn't tell why. The atmosphere, previously one of patient waiting, had changed subtly and there was something else lurking beneath that I couldn't quite place. It didn't seem to be attached to any sort of awareness, or offer any kind of threat, so I added it to my growing list of things to interrogate Virtuer Grice about, if I ever found his papers. So far I'd found nothing except the logs of the previous few lighthouse keepers, which detailed maintenance works and expenses.

As before, the lamp itself appeared to need nothing from me. So, duty done, I made my way into Grimglass.

My purpose in visiting was threefold. The first was to see if there was a difference in the way people reacted when I was alone. As it was something in the nature of an experiment I made sure to dress as respectably as any Corambin gentleman, in dark sober colors. My hair was already cut neatly short, a concession Mildmay refused to make. The only points of color, other than my hair, were the Mirador's bright tattoos that decorated my hands and disappeared into my sleeves, and the gold and garnet rings I wore on each finger. Both marked me out as a foreigner and former Cabaline wizard, but there was only so much I was prepared to give up.

I was disappointed but not surprised that the reaction to my visiting alone was indeed different to when Mildmay accompanied me. There were stares, but more of curiosity than concern that someone had released a tiger into their midst. People readily greeted me, and were more inclined to chat about the weather and how I was finding the lighthouse. After the third such conversation I was starting to sorely miss Mildmay's silent presence that could end a conversation with just a look if he chose.

My second purpose was to visit the bookshop again. The clerk Tobermore raised his eyebrows as I came to the counter with a stack of all the Reynard Vulpine novels I hadn't yet read.

"I take it these are the reason everyone's looking at my brother like they're afraid he might bite?" I asked. "You said he resembled the protagonist."

Tobermore smiled wryly. "It's the most excitement Grimglass has seen since the Intended decided to keep pigs and they got into the church during a service."

"Surely the arrival of the Cougar of Rothmarlin was worth some excitement?"

Tobermore shrugged. "Warden Brightmore seems harmless enough." They were the words of a man who judged Kay for his blindness and not his well-earned reputation. He put the books into a bag for me. "The rumor is that Miss Velvet used to live in Mélusine herself. Of course, she could be saying that because it sells copies. Even to you, it seems?"

"They're very entertaining," I said, more waspish than I meant for him to hear, "but Miss Velvet has clearly never been anywhere near Mélusine in her life." Although I was starting to question it myself, since among the blatant fabrications there were too many little details that rang true. Mildmay would be better placed to judge than me, having been a denizen of the Lower City all his life, but asking him would mean admitting the novels' existence. 

My third reason for visiting Grimglass was the furniture shop I'd seen at the edge of the town square. The cottage, while adequate, was somewhat lacking in comfort, a fact which I intended to remedy since it appeared we were stuck there. What had caught my eye in the shop window was an armchair, upholstered in the absinthe green of Mildmay's eyes. It would fit perfectly by either of the windows in his bedroom, giving him somewhere to sit that wasn't at risk of interruption. I'd noticed, in Troia especially but also as we'd traveled, that he'd often sit by a window to watch the world. 

Mismatched furniture was piled high against the walls and in the center, leaving only a narrow aisle in which to navigate the shop itself. The proprietor Clemmens was wedged into a corner at the back reading a book and looked very much like Tobermore, except unlike most Corambins he wore his red hair long enough to tie back. 

"Virtuer Harrowgate." He put the novel on the shelf above his head and I pretended not to notice it was the fourth Reynard Vulpine. "Can I help you?"

I explained I was looking for furnishings for the cottage and in short order I had purchased the green armchair, along with a deep blue one for myself, a bookcase, and several other small items, all to be delivered on some unspecified morning. Then, objectives accomplished, I went back to the cottage. Perhaps, with some personal touches, I could start thinking of it as home.

**Mildmay**

I liked Whallen better than Grimglass, mostly along of the people there not staring at me. Also because I'm a city boy, and there wasn't much in the way of city up at the lighthouse. I took the diligence to get there, since it was that or walk what with the trains not running out as far as Grimglass. It reminded me of Esmer, and I wondered how Corbie was doing at making the Institution eat their words about how girls couldn't be hocuses. 

For a little while I wandered about, getting a feel for the place. And yes, since you ask, I was still looking at how I'd get into places, and up on the roofs, and where would offer a card game I could get in on, and which streets looked like the best pickings. Plenty of opportunities, if I wasn't going straight which I was. Best try not to fuck it up, Milly-Fox. It didn't take me long to work out which streets I probably didn't want to chance after dark, and where the Society for the Advancement of Universal Education was. 

Just like in Esmer it was in a nice respectable area, all clean streets and flower boxes. And just like in the Esmer chapter there was a gal behind a desk, and she didn't look at me like I was a carny freak even with the scar so I thought that was a good start.

"Can I help you?" she asked.

"Got a letter," I said. "For Mr. Shearwater." I pulled it out of my coat pocket. 

"Of course. Take a seat." She dimpled a smile at me and headed out the door behind her little desk. I sat on one of the chairs, all mismatched with scuffed and faded cushions, and it wasn't long before she was back and telling me Mr. Shearwater wouldn't be long.

Mr. Shearwater turned out to be short, stocky, and blond, which made me think maybe he was Caloxan like Kay. His accent was all Corambis though, by way of Esmer. He invited me through to his office, which was neat and tidy with books on shelves and not in piles, not like Miss Leverick's office at all. He waved me to a chair and read the letter quickly.

"Miss Leverick says you've recently arrived at Grimglass, as a companion to your brother Virtuer Harrowgate?" Companion made me sound like I was keeping some little old lady company, but I nodded since I really didn't want to get into what else I thought I was doing there. "She says you want to learn new skills. Perhaps if you could tell me what skills you already have? What were you doing before?"

And Kethe, but wasn't that just the question I wasn't about to answer. I felt myself go red and managed to mumble, "Learning to read mostly." Which was just fucking embarrassing to admit, but at least then he thought I was blushing because of that and not because the truth would have had him calling the Dogs.

"It's not uncommon for people to come to education a little later, where they haven't had the opportunity in their earlier life," he said. "We certainly won't judge you for it here." He dug around on his desk for a leaflet like the one Miss Leverick had given me back in Esmer. "This is our current program. What sort of thing did you want to learn?"

I didn't know how to answer. I was kind of hoping Miss Leverick's crazy friend was teaching about labyrinths here too, which of course she wasn't, because I could've asked her if she knew about the one in Grimglass. There were practical skills like cooking and sewing, and other things like history and philosophy, and some other words I didn't even know and wasn't about to ask. As a kept-thief I'd learned whatever Keeper told me, and learning to read we'd used mostly whatever was around that wasn't a book about magic. Felix'd want me to learn about grammar, since he'd never quit correcting me otherwise, but I didn't want to learn that just because it was what he wanted. It sounded like a fucking headache, and I was never going to sound flash anyway so what was the point?

"I don't know."

"You don't have to decide now," Mr. Shearwater said. "Perhaps settle in before you commit to anything?" And I could take a hint that he had stuff to get on with that I was keeping him from, so I stood up and we shook hands again. "Feel free to come back if you have any questions."

I settled in a little bar, just to have a drink and take my time. The history book was in my pocket and I wasn't in anything of a hurry, so I sat there and watched the people go by, some of them not looking up from their feet and none of them looking higher than the first floor. Other people came in the bar, regulars from the way they greeted the barman. They knew right where they were going and didn't pay me no more attention than they did the furniture. I thought how it must be nice not to look at everywhere with an eye to if you have to fight your way out or go out the window.

Thinking like that'll get you killed, Milly-Fox, soon as people figure out what you are. And I didn't know how, but I was guessing the folks in Grimglass were already halfway there.


	4. Old Friends

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> First up, an apology for the delay in posting. I had chapter four all ready to go, but then realised it wasn't chapter four at all. And in the meantime I got ambushed by a Mildmay/Kay fic that insisted on being written, and then there was life, and lockdown and *waves hand*.
> 
> Which is to say, this is still being written. Just slowly. I'll try not to leave it so long until chapter five!

**Mildmay**

In the dream I'm climbing the lighthouse. I can hear someone crying at the top. A kid's voice but not one I recognise. The accent's pure Lower City and I wonder if it's Felix, before Strych got his claws into him. My leg hurts, that kind of tight, dull throbbing that tells me I'm in for a world of hurt if I don't stop.

I can't stop, 'cause I can hear Strych coming up the stairs behind me. He ain't hurrying or nothing. He's taking his time 'cause he knows I can't get away, and he's telling me all the time in that fucking purr of his what he's going to do when he catches up with me. What he's going to do to Felix after. I think it is Felix at the top of the lighthouse then, and just maybe if I can get to the top before Strych catches up I can protect him.

 _Protect him how, Milly-Fox?_ And then Keeper's laughing at me, seeing as I can't even make it up the stairs. Strych is laughing with her, both of them echoing up the lighthouse at me like they're sharing a joke. And I'm putting putting one foot in front of the other as the hornets start up in my leg, and I know I can't make it to the top before the cramps start. And sure enough my leg buckles and down I go. Jashuki clatters away and I follow, and all I can think is I wonder which of them, Strych or Keeper, I'm going to land on.

**Felix**

As always the lighthouse seemed happy to run itself. I was beginning to wonder why it needed a virtuer here at all, if perhaps it had been a convenient fiction to get me out of the way, except that every time I visited the atmosphere had changed. 

It wasn't mikkary, that sense of despair and decay that often gathers in old and abandoned buildings, but there was a definite air of melancholy that hadn't been there on my first visit. There were spells I could cast that could perhaps clarify what was going on, but I was reluctant to attempt them before I knew how the lighthouse functioned in case it upset the workings. I was also reluctant to do so without Mildmay there to guard against unforeseen complications, but asking him to attempt the stairs was unthinkable. I'd once been told Mildmay would walk over knives for me - and he had, metaphorically, more than once - but that didn't mean I would ask him to again.

When I returned to the cottage, Mildmay was sitting at the table with a book. It was one of the histories, and he was quite a way through it. I hadn't expected it to be something he was interested in, until I realised that most of the stories he told were things that had really happened. He knew more about Mélusinian history than I did. There was a brochure from the Society for the Advancement of Universal Education on the table beside him, and I picked it up to look at the courses on offer. On the back there was a list of notable speakers for the term, and I noticed that Miss Velvet was giving a talk in Whallen. Suddenly I was thankful we were out in the middle of nowhere where Mildmay had no chance of encountering her by accident.

"Have you decided what you're going to take?"

"Don't know that I'll bother," he replied, not looking up from the page. "Might as well put wings on a pig."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"It ain't going to do nothing but make me look even stupider than I am."

"You're not stupid, you're _uneducated_. That's not the same thing." He'd grown up with Kolkhis telling him he was too stupid to read, and I'd long suspected she'd done it to keep him from realising he was, in fact, intelligent enough to manage without her. Mildmay had left her anyway, a fact that made me deeply proud of him. 

"I'm plenty fucking educated if you want something stealing or someone killing." He made no effort to make the words clear, but that particular trick hadn't worked on me for quite some time.

"Well since you're not doing either of those things any more, perhaps you should try something else. What do you want to learn about?"

"Powers Felix, I don't know." He closed the book slowly. "I don't know what half the words in that leaflet even mean."

"Like what?"

He paused, just long enough that I thought he was worried I'd make fun of him. "Husbandry," he said finally. "Only it don't sound like the kind of thing you should do with animals." 

"It means to cultivate. To grow and breed animals and crops."

"So, farming," he said, and pushed away from the table to put the kettle on the stovetop. "Why couldn't they just say that?"

"It makes some people feel clever to use words other people don't know, I suppose," I said, and felt myself blush at the sidelong glance he gave me. "It doesn't seem like a particularly good way to encourage people to sign up," I added. I cast an eye over the rest of the courses. "I know you know what architecture is. Astronomy?" I couldn't recall us coming across it in his reading, and the look he gave me was opaque. "There are stories about why the stars are the way they are, you know." 

Whatever answer he was about to give was interrupted by a knock at the door, which I answered to find Julian Carey beaming at me from the doorstep. Julian was Kay's distant nephew by marriage, being the nephew of Duke Murtagh who was married to Kay's sister. Julian had been sent to Grimglass for the same reason as Kay and I, namely that all three of us were considered an awkward problem best solved by being hidden somewhere out of sight. In Julian's case it was because he was what the Corambins called an aethereal. He saw and heard ghosts.

"Good afternoon, Julian." I ushered him in, to where Mildmay had already poured tea for all three of us.

"Kay wants to know if you're free," Julian said, with little preamble. "For dinner."

I glanced to Mildmay, knowing how he hated to eat in front of people. It was one of many things his scar made him self-conscious about.

He shrugged. "Be nice to see Kay," he offered.

"We've no plans," I told Julian. "When should we make ourselves available?"

"We could all go now if you're free," he suggested.

"Ain't it rude to turn up to dinner early?"

"Kay wouldn't mind. I think he misses having someone to talk to." What Julian meant without knowing it, was that Kay needed the company of someone who understood him. Someone who'd confronted the worst of himself and wondered how to come back from being a monster. As far as I knew Kay was the only person in Corambis that Mildmay had admitted his past to. Back in Esmer they'd spent a great deal of time in each other's company, and it had done them both good.

"Then we'd be delighted," I said, reaching for my coat. "There's nothing here that can't wait until tomorrow."

Mildmay gave me a wordless look, most likely judging me for making the decision for both of us. As he slipped a book into the inside pocket of his coat I knew it was the right one.

**Mildmay**

They must have seen us coming, 'cause a servant in livery had the front door open before we were even out of the fiacre. "They're in the parlour, young sir," he told Julian.

The parlour turned out to be a room all done up in yellow and gold, south-facing so it was like sitting inside sunshine. It made Felix's yellow eye stand out even more than normal and his pale skin look unhealthy, and I hated to think what it was doing to me. Kay and Vanessa were sitting at this little table, all tea and tiny sandwiches. Another man turned from looking out the window. I recognised Kay's brother-in-law, Duke Murtagh, who'd got him out of chains after Caloxa lost the war and put him in Grimglass instead. 

Felix put on his five alarm smile and pretended like he hadn't wasn't surprised to see him. "Vanessa, Kay. Thank you so much for inviting us. I hope we're not too inconveniently early?"

"Not at all," Vanessa replied, with a smile. "I rather thought Julian would bring you as soon as he could." 

They made small talk for a bit, about the house and grounds, and how everyone was settling in. Kay sat in silence, and I leaned on my cane and tried to not to price up all the little ornaments on the mantelpiece. Finally Felix decided they'd done as much of that as was polite, and asked if it would be possible for him to see their library. 

"You might, perhaps, have some information about the lighthouse that would greatly assist in my work," he said. 

"Of course," Vanessa replied. "No you stay, Mildmay. I'm sure you and Kay have a lot to catch up on."

"Allow me to show Virtuer Harrowgate the way," Duke Murtagh said, smooth as a pick in a greased lock. "You said you needed to see Richard's tutor before he leaves for Whallen." There was something in the way he looked at Felix I wasn't sure I liked, but Felix looked right back and it didn't seem to bother him any.

"I'd be delighted," he replied, his voice high and breathless.

Vanessa swept Julian out with her, and just like that it was just me and Kay.

He looked better. First time I'd met Kay was on a train on the way to Esmer. I wasn't at my best, along of recovering from Winter Fever, and Kay hadn't looked much better than I felt. He'd gotten healthier in Esmer, with Murtagh's people to look after him, but hadn't exactly been well. 

"You look good," I told him, sitting in the chair that faced his. "Grimglass agreeing with you?"

"Being busy agrees with me," he replied. "Murtagh insisted we tour every inch of Grimglass, to dispel any lingering concerns over the Cougar of Rothmarlin being loosed on the unsuspecting populace. Else I would have greeted you when you arrived, for which I cry your mercy. Would not have left seeing you and Felix so long, otherwise."

"You don't got to apologise," I told him. "You've got a job to do." I remembered how he'd been bored out of his mind in Esmer, what with having nothing to do all day except sit around and wait for me to come and read to him. "Ain't nothing worse than having nothing to do with yourself."

"And you? How do you find the lighthouse?"

"Fuckload of stairs," I said. "Ain't got to the top of them yet but I'll get there."

Kay scowled. "Felix makes you climb it?"

"Powers, no. He'd have kittens if he even knew I was trying." It was almost funny. Felix had made me do all the stairs in the Mirador back when I was under the binding-by-forms, without even thinking about it. I was starting to think maybe he'd meant it about doing better this time. "This is something I've got to do for me. At least I ain't climbing up the outside of it."

Kay knew about my past, so he laughed like I'd hoped he would. "As easily as that?"

"The stones ain't exactly regular." So I told him about the lighthouse and the cottage, and how Felix spent most of his time locked in with his books. "Hey, you said Murtagh took you all over, you know anything about a labyrinth around here?"

"Holy Lady, another labyrinth?" He didn't look happy and I didn't blame him, what with the last one trying to murder him. "You and Felix are haunted by labyrinths."

"Sure seems like it." I shrugged. "It's just something I read in a book. It might be nothing." 

"Have you spoken to Felix?"

"No. Don't want to worry him. I mean, no one seems to know anything about it." No one being Florence, along of I didn't feel like trying to have a conversation with anyone in town. They still stared at me the way folks had in the Lower city after they found out I had a hocus for a brother. At least Florence was paid to put up with me. "Anyway, I've gotten to thinking maybe it was a temporary thing, like the curtain mazes back in Mélusine. Or some sort of fancy garden." The curtain mazes were only around during the Trials, and there was a hedge maze back in Hermione that would've taken an army of gardeners to maintain. I could see how maybe people would forget about something like that, once they stopped using it.

"Will ask Vanessa," Kay said. "She's been here longer than I."

"Thanks. Just, don't tell Felix, okay?"

"Okay," he agreed. "Now, shall we finish those absurd sandwiches before they go stale?"

"Sure," I said, glad for the chance to fill up before dinner. I hated the thought of having to eat in company. "I brought a book, too."

"Even better," he replied, and for a while it was.

**Felix**

Duke Murtagh led me to a library that was hardly extensive compared to even one of the Mirador's archives, but was certainly more than I expected from a single Corambin household. The room smelled like it had been shut up for some time, although the deep green velvet curtains were open and it was clear the fire was lit periodically to keep the room from becoming damp. Most likely it saw little more use than that. since it didn't strike me that either Kay or Vanessa had much use for books. I wondered how Kay would feel about me taking charge of the warden's books as well as those at the lighthouse.

As I inspected a shelf of hand-written ledgers, I was not surprised to hear Murtagh close the door softly behind us. 

"I've been thinking about what you said at Kay and Vanessa's wedding," he said. "That during our night together I did nothing you didn't want." 

I turned to face him. "It's the truth." He had been, not kind, that was not the word for what had happened between us, but attentive. He'd certainly used my body for his own pleasure - it was what he'd paid me for, after all - but had also ensured that by the end, aching with need and too incoherent even to beg, I'd also found release. 

No other tarquin, or flame as they were called in Corambis, had ever cared about that. Or had taken the time afterwards to make sure I was clean and well before sending me on my way.

Murtagh crossed the room so quickly I barely saw him move, coming close enough that I found my back pressed into the bookshelves. His eyes met mine, watching my reaction as he asked softly, "I find myself wondering, Felix, if you'd be open to my doing it again. Even though you're no longer for hire."

The thought of surrendering to him made my breath catch. I no longer needed the money, but that wasn't all that he offered. Whatever he saw in my face, he was gentle as he took hold of the back of my neck and drew me down to kiss him. It was only when I responded to his tongue with my own that his grip and his kiss hardened. His free hand reached down, his fingers firm as they stroked me erect through my trousers. 

I moaned as he dug his nails in and stepped away. 

"Not here," he said. "Let's not give the servants any more to gossip about than they have already. Shall I send Wyatt to collect you tomorrow night?"

"Yes, sir," I whispered. 

"Excellent." His smile was a tarquin's smile as he paused by the door to give my groin a meaningful look. "You're not to finish _that_ without me."

I swallowed. "Yes, sir."

"Then I'll leave you alone with your books, Felix."

And he did, and I stared after him for a long moment before I even remembered why I was there.


End file.
